My husband has had surgery yet again(5 since Jan1)..but is doing some better so far.  I live in a small southern town...you know the type..2 stores, no traffic lights, but a freaking church on every corner? lol.  Anyways...as a pagan witch, I am not always as open as I could be about my path.  So while I was doing some things, a person fills out my husbands papaer work.  Now he isnt pagan, but has always been very open to what I do, so this woman gets to "religious preferences"...and he says "PAGAN".  she asks, what's that?  So he explains a little about my being a witch and the witchcraft thing.  So when I get back..I get these odd looks, but having other things on my mind, I dismiss them...until he tells me about how he answered the question,lol.   So after surgery, I am in his room and I always wear my brigid's cross, and a nurse holds it and says it is so unusual, so I tell her what it is and what its for...she dropped it like it burned her,lol...Later I am reading a book on dragon magic, and a nurse asks what I am reading, I tell her, and she asks"have you read Harry Potter?"  I say yes, with a smile, then explain that what I am reading isnt fiction...Needless to say..this trip to the hospital has been very interesting to say the least..and it has actually made me feel very empowered about talking about my path, so guess that is a good thing.

This has been the most stressful week I have had in a while...not as if I don't have enough on my plate already with my husband being seriously ill, an perhaps not even making it to the end of the year, but work has been the pits!  I work in a sewing plant that makes clothes for themilitary and what with machine trouble and general chaos that goes along with that environment, today my boss was being a class "A" jerk.  I did another job for him last week, and he asked if I would do so today, but I needed to do my job since with all my machine being down, I was behind.  So when I declined, he then decided to withold my paycheck until after 2pm even though I would have been done earlier and that would mean coming back for it.  So totally unfair after all thehelp I had given him before, so the girl who helps on my job and I decided that we would just take our time and finish our work at 2pm so we would get our checks and leave...so we did.  If I were a vindictive witch, my boss would be so much lower than a slug, but as they say..."what goes around, comes around" so not wasting energy worrying over how lousy a person he is.  What I am worried about is how I can handle all the stress of watching my husband slowly waste away.  I try not to let him see how worried I am, but occassionally friends let me cry on their shoulders and I try to, but its hard. It didnt occur to me until after someone brought it up about it being Friday the 13th, but really that date hasnt realy bothered me in the past, and with all that is going on, its pretty much like all the rest.  So, I've come home and lit candles and incense to brush aside the negativity, and recenter yet again so I can move on and do what needs to be done.

I love history.  All kinds.  My most favorite part is from the civil war era(I'm from the south, so it kind of figures), but lately I have begun to delve into pagan history. I am intrigued by the antiquity of certain paths as well as accuracy of paths in general. 

I get asked quite a bit when I am in pagan chat rooms "what is your path"..well I have to say that at first I called myself a wiccan witch, but as I grew in my path and studied upon the history of it all..I find I am not anything like the wicca that was formed by Gardner, for that is the true faith of "wicca' in general.  Now one could argue(and I choose not to debate..just accept what is and let one decide for themselves what to call themselves)that wicca is based conceptually on an ancient path that is also the parent of other faiths(think catholic for example), but the true word that was coined by Gardner and endorsed by Crowley was full of high magick and sexual rituals that today in the states is a much watered down version.  Some, while saying they are wiccan do not practice any type of witchcraft or ritual castings.  I am not saying they arent wiccan...just IMHO, not of the path that was the original.  I prefer to just say I am pagan..following and collecting from several paths, such as celtic, norse, egyptian, as well as adding aryuvedic healing and energy work.  Pretty eclectic I know, but all have similarities that suit my spirit and I find that as I grow, I tend to add or discard what fits my needs best.  I am a witch..I have always been a witcch.  It is a hereditary thing..not spoken aloud(just not done in the bible belt to be sure), but I have always heard of "Aunt Margarete read tea leaves", or Gran(my great-grandmother for whom I am named and remain connected with)can tell when the weather is going to change.  she plants by moon, or even of a distant cousin with prophetic dreams.  So the witches have gone before me and will come again as I pass, but it is not a path that I take lightly.  I believe I have my gifts for a reason.  some I know of, others I have yet to find out, but that is why I keep searching and seeking so that as I walk this path, I grow.  Blessings,

Amy

i have been cleaning house.  Not just any cleaning...a turn the thing upside down, shake out all the clutter, and throw it out the door kind of cleaning. i usually do this several times a year just to clear the energy but this time is different.  My husband is ill..has been for some time.  He has had 4 major surgeries on his bowel since Jan1, and has had an ileostomy and a reversal, with now yet another ileostomy that they say is permenent.  Now most would think perhaps finally we see end in sight..but alas, no...he is having trouble eating and getting proper nutrition, so the doctors are afraid to let him come home, but he has been there almost 6 wks this time.  so my hubby tells them..with or without permission, he is coming home, even if it is to die as he would prefere it to be with people he loves rather than someplace he dislikes so much.  This kind of freaked me out some as its only been 2 years ago that we watched this sort of thing happen with my father, and here I am doing it again with the one I have loved for 30 years.  Not so good.  Luckily for me, I have a great support system with my daughter and friends who have become like family to me.  they listened as I cried(can't do that when he gets home) and then helped me recenter so that I could do what is necessary.  So with all this going on, I cleaned and began finding silver coins all over the house...nickels, dimes, quarters..now while that might not seem unusual in a deep purge like I am doing, they seem to have no rhyme or reason for being where they are...just appearing even in rooms I am through with and happen to walk back into..there out of nowhere..a silver coin, even on the porch as i take out the trash.  I am not centered enough to even begin to wrap my head around the significance other than to recognize that there is one.  I plan on giving it more thought tomorrow since I will be finally through with the house and can take some "me" time, to begin to contemplate my message.

I am a solitary witch.  I do not exactly have a strictly wiccan path(its pretty eclectic actually), and while some find that disheartening , it works for me.  I try to do the best that I can everyday to bring positive energy into the path of those I meet as well as use the gifts I have been blessed with.  I am married for 30 yrs now to a man who is truly open to my path so that is a blessing.  I have 2 daughters and 1 son who are pagan as well .  And we have been blessed with 6 little people (3 girls, 3 boys) who are the joy of our lives and with whom magick is a joy to share.

I believe we are gifted for a reason and it is our responsibility to share with others(within reason)*smile* when and where we can to make our world around us a better place.."For to whom much is given, much is required".

Namaste